At the time this is published, you will find me lying in bed. I’ll be exhausted, grumpy, and likely surrounded by semi-unpacked luggage. We’ll have just returned from a ministry trip with a family vacation tacked onto the end. We’ll have ridden by plane, train, and a lot of automobiles in three weeks, spanning sleeps in 7 states and on a cruise ship, all in all almost 9000 miles.
But all this is an answer to a very old prayer, just not in the way I expected. I remember the day the Lord called me into full-time ministry. I was a delegate at a denominational meeting, representing a church plant at which I was a part of the leadership team during college. I remember praying and being pressed upon that I was to dive into full-time ministry. This did not make sense to me; I was soon to graduate with a teaching degree and my fiance with an engineering degree. But I obeyed, told my fiance, and we prayed. We prayed together and apart; others prayed with us and for us; we talked about all the millions of options we could have serving the Lord. But what I remember praying distinctly was that I trusted the Lord because I would probably never choose this life myself.
Ministry is full of things I never thought I would see happen. As we’ve been away from the church we served at for years, it’s so interesting to hear what people remember and what they have forgotten. They remember my VBS waterfalls made out of plastic tablecloths that wowed children and adults alike. But what they may have forgotten is the time commitment that it takes to make a vacation Bible school a reality in planning and execution. They remember the way they were greeted on Sunday mornings, but what we see on the outside are students we met with in small groups and who are now heading into full-time ministry themselves. What we thought was our forever ministry was a precious, holy, and necessary step to lead us into the next chapter.
At the suggestion of someone much wiser than I am, my recent personal Bible study time has been focused on Elijah. I’ve been struggling this year in transition (you can read that in my previous posts from this year), and I’m not completely sure what this person’s intention in suggesting Elijah was, but I’ve felt very deeply his traveling and his transitions in ministry. Elijah knew God’s call on his life, yet God kept sending him other places for seemingly random reasons. But if we know anything about the Lord, He is not random. He is the opposite. He was preparing not only Elijah but everyone he would help and save and tell about the Lord. But here are two things that keep coming back to me.
Elijah didn’t complain. Sure he might have thought it, but we don’t see laments or Elijah pulling a Jonah and running the other way. He followed God’s steps for his ministry and his life. Some of the steps don’t make sense until you see God’s whole story come together. Each small step led Elijah into another sphere of influence. The Lord asks us to do His work without complaint. This doesn’t mean we won’t or can’t complain, but that we should work for the Lord joyfully. I struggle with this one. I don’t have an immediately joyful countenance or attitude. I’m working on it; I’m praying on it. I’ve started by learning to apologize when I realize I’ve been complaining, and I’ve realized that I complain quickly when things don’t make sense to me. I’m trying to take things like this to the Lord in prayer instead of instantly opening my mouth.
Elijah waited on the Word of the Lord. Elijah didn’t move until God commanded. Even when Elijah was at Cherith or with the widow (1 Kings 17), he remained until the Lord told him to move. He didn’t jump the gun; he waited until he heard from the Lord, telling him specifically where to go and whom to see. The Lord is not vague. He is making our paths for us. We need to listen, and then we need to obey. God made it abundantly clear that I was supposed to go back to teaching full time this year. I obeyed, yet this year has been very difficult. I was ready to give up multiple times, but the Lord made it abundantly clear that I’m to stay again next year. I really don’t know what He is doing, but I’m praying, and I keep seeking His face. I’m trusting and obeying. The Lord knows even when I do not.
This summer trip to visit missionaries in small places around the US is not what I thought the Lord had in store 20 years ago. Instead, it’s sweeter and wilder than I ever thought my life would be. I’m not only serving the Lord the best I can, but I get to do it alongside my husband, and my three kids get in there too and serve. I can see a million little points and places along the way where the Lord fed us by ravens (another Elijah reference) and gave us oil and flour when there should be none (one more reference). I’m expecting to find places of Cherith this summer, a place of rest where the Lord is taking care of those who are working for His glory. I’m hoping to encourage those who aren’t sure what God is doing in their lives and ministry and to be the outside person pointing them to Jesus.
