[Part three of a four-part series]
This week we’re continuing our CHEER for our husbands!
Count it a joy to serve together
Hear his heart
Be Elastic
Encourage
Reconcile quickly
So far we’ve talked about C – Count it joy, H – Hear his heart, and E – Be Elastic! Today we’re focusing on E – Encourage.
Encourage. How do we encourage our pastor husband? The ways are endless, aren’t they?! Maybe it’s through cleaning our home week in and week out. Or maybe it’s through spring cleaning his office. Maybe it’s fixing his favorite casserole or pie, welcoming him at the door with a kiss and smile, and faithfully lifting him up in prayer.
“Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” Proverbs 31:29-30.
I asked over ten ladies in our little church how they see me cheer on my husband. Their answers humble and motivate me to keep working on my cheerleading.
* Showing him respect, especially when I speak of him to others. A young mom says, “This has been very encouraging to me to see your respect in action as you build and cheer Kurt on by how you speak about him when he isn’t around.”
* Using my gifts with music and children to bolster up his gifts of preaching and teaching.
* Shepherding women via Moms in Prayer and counseling.
* Counseling couples and youth together.
* Listening to him without suggesting or attempting to fix anything.
* Praying for him in the decisions he has to make and the work he has to do.
* Having a hot dinner and clean laundry for him.
* Giving him time to love our children.
* Complimenting him, not competing with him in Sunday service or any other service. Someone said they appreciate when I remind Kurt of announcements or share about a song that has been special to me (or that he might have used at a funeral). She said, “It never feels like you are drawing attention to yourself.”
* Giving him “admiring glances.” (I had no idea others would notice how I look at my husband!)
* A fellow mom of five remembers me telling her that Kurt was more understanding of our kids’ mistakes than I was. She says, “Not only were you being positive about Kurt but you were brave enough to admit that you were not perfect. I appreciate it when someone is brave enough to admit they struggle just like I do.”
* One of our own children said, “I think it’s encouraging to see Mom cheering, encouraging, and reminding Dad. They always seem to agree, even if that involves discussion.” (Discussion is good, right!?)
* Loving him instead of correcting him; being patient with him.
* Staying just as involved in the lives of the congregation as he is.
* Being willing to live and serve with my husband in a place so far from my family and in a different culture than I’m used to.
* Sincerely praying for him, our family, and congregation.
* Fully supporting him in the ministry.
* Living selflessly. (GULP) “The biggest thing a pastor’s wife can give her husband is to be selfless,” says a rancher’s wife and trailblazer for our church plant.
I also asked my husband, “How do I encourage you?” He gave me his answer, as I requested, in a poem!
A ‘Cheer’ Poem from a Pastor to his wife
Faithful to his wife and God-
This harmony should not be odd.
But ministry can take its toll,
And put a strain on heart and soul.
What can she do in times like these?
She calms her heart on bended knees.
To cheer him on is to be her calling-
Stand beside him and keep from falling.
Celebrate, be flexible and hear his heart-
She must not lose sight of her crucial part.
A heart endeared is a powerful glue-
Reconcile often for a love that’s true.
By: Pastor Kurt Busenitz
And here’s my poem to my husband!
A ‘Cheer’ Poem from a PW to her husband
Preach, teach- shepherd the sheep.
Baptize, counsel and wisely give reasons.
Laugh with our kids- commune with God deep.
Love your wife through all the seasons.
Make disciples, lead and guide-
Treasure your cheerleader by your side.
Plow, sow and harvest well-
Of God’s goodness to others tell.
By: Denna Busenitz
Yeah, Denna! Cheers for another practical post that is challenging and convicting. 🙂
I think you summarized well what it means to encourage in your last suggestion: be selfless. If we can lay down our lives for our husbands and serve him well God will be glorified and our churches will grow. I pray I can do the same for my husband and church.
Love the complementing his and hers cheerleading poems! Thanks for your insightful exhortation to give that underlying support our so husbands need. Wise advise.
Hi Anndee- thanks for encouragement! It was fun to write the poems and see what my husband came up with. 🙂 Blessings on your ministry of encouragement to your husband.
Thanks for the encouragement Wendy! I was touched by that comment from a lady in our church too. It’s tough to be selfless and something I need to keep asking God to help me with. I appreciate your statement, ‘If we can lay down our lives for our husbands and serve him well, God will be glorified and our church will grow. ‘ Thanks for sharing!
Denna, I absolutely loved your poems to one another! They made me tear up as I read your heart for Kurt and his for you. Thank you for sharing!
Tobi
Thanks Tobi- was a challenge at first to convince my husband to write a poem on this topic. 🙂 I’ve always loved his writing style and thankful that he did agree to write this poem. Blessings!