A new job in pastoral ministry often means moving to a new town—a community to learn to know, love, and call home. A change in location also involves the important task of loving our new ministry and church family. Perhaps more so than members of the broader community, there is a particular vulnerability that comes with loving the Christians we live with. Patience, forgiveness, and grace (just to name a few) are God’s generous gifts that we need to love well.
One great aspect of growing up in a small town church is how I learned to appreciate those who differed from me. A small congregation meant I did not have the option of befriending those “like” me. Besides my sister I do not recall there being another female Christian close to my age. Although the situation had challenges, I learned to value diversity. Praise God for the unity we can have in Jesus!
Keen Vision
As pastors’ wives, we may be privy to information about people that makes loving them more difficult. Or we be unwillingly in the spotlight and feel as if our every action is being watched. On top of everything, our church family will have differences from us and each ministry experience that we have will be different. The potential barriers to appreciating and loving people are endless. Small-town living requires keen vision. We all need God’s eyes to see the positive attributes of people. We need God’s grace to forgive offenses. We need God’s humility to appreciate each person’s quirks. The Lord is working in and through our Christian brothers and sisters by His Spirit. When we see flaws and weaknesses we can respond by praying. May others’ achievements and strengths bring us joy and remind us to encourage them.
Let us ask our Father for help in perceiving the ways He is sanctifying those we interact with in ministry. He can give us those kingdom eyes and hearts and minds.
It is Better to Give
Pastoral ministry, particularly in a small-town or rural setting, would be awfully lonely if it lacked friendship with and love for the other believers in that place. We need other Christians and they need their pastor’s wife too. Learning to love new people (and continuing to love) takes a lot of effort and energy. But as we live together, we can trust that God will be teaching us to love.
Spending time and doing activities with church family can help us understand their point of view and participate in the unique and simple things about their life. We will likely come to enjoy many parts of it as well. Likewise, serving with our church family gives us further opportunity to learn about them, appreciate them, and develop friendships.
Pray with your brothers and sisters! It demonstrates your care for them and will strengthen your love for them too. Serve your congregation and pray for them. When you do God will give you a heart to love. Remember, it is better to give than to receive.
Maybe one of the hardest things to do is to depend on our church family. It may not seem like the loving thing to do, but in those times when we need others and give them opportunity to love us, we can see their gifts at work. When we accept the kindness and help of others we display trust and humility. Love is difficult if we think we are self-sufficient or better than others.
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers.” Galatians 6:9-10
As the Lord continues to reveal His love to you would He enable you to love others with the love He provides.
Lots of great points, Nicole!
It’s so true that we need God’s eyes to love others, to be willing to be vulnerable, to accept help and keep loving graciously. I remember many times as a pastor’s wife feeling frustrated with have to have others help us in order to make it financially. It was humbling, but good for me learn that we can’t do it on our own.
Thanks for the encouragement.