Sharing a Meal to Share Life

“Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.” – Romans 12:13

“I promise to love you with hospitality, offering myself to you and those we minister to with service and an open heart and home.”

 

This was a line from our wedding vows, based on Romans 12, something we wanted to do and felt God was calling us to do: practice hospitality. Open up our home, share our lives, and make the gospel known through it.

When my husband was hired to be the pastor of our church 15 years ago, we had a six-month waiting period as he completed his last  semester of seminary. During that time, we prayed and strategized and planned for this new adventure. God planted an idea which would profoundly affect and characterize our ministry: we would seek to have everyone in our congregation over to our home for dinner within the first year. We didn’t have kids yet, and while it would be busy, it was doable.

This kind of hospitality ministry is one of the potential benefits of pastoring a small church in a rural community: you can know everyone in your church. We wanted to get to know everyone, and being in a town of 1,200, it was a great way to get a pulse on the community and to begin to get plugged in. And in the act of serving, you are humbling yourself before them, breaking down barriers and misconceptions while building relationships and trust.

So we began. Once or twice a week, we had people over to the parsonage for a home-cooked meal: sometimes delicious, sometimes mediocre. (There was a near-fire once in my youthful attempt at fried ice cream!) But always, there was a connection. Whether it was a couple, a single mom and her kids, a small group of widows, or an entire family, we heard their stories, got to know their children, and saw pictures of their grandkids. We shared testimonies of coming to faith in Christ and heard their perspectives on the long history of our churches. They saw our movie collections and listened to my husband share his raucous stories of growing up in rural Pennsylvania. Often at the end of the evening we heard, “You guys are so down-to-earth!” and “Wow, I’ve been in this church for 10 (or 20…or 50) years, and we’ve never had dinner with our pastor’s family. Thank you!”

That vision God gave us yielded tremendous fruit! We were able to have almost every regular church attender over the first year. By the end of the second year, as we continued this practice with newcomers, and further developed relationships, we were well integrated into the church and community. Based on statistics we had heard at the time, we expected to be at that point after five years!

Not only is hospitality beneficial for developing relationships with church members, but it is an effective evangelistic tool. Inevitably when we have non-believers over to our home, God provides an opportunity in the course of conversation to share our testimonies. We have seen many families welcomed into our church community and/or into meaningful relationships with Christians through the ministry of hospitality. When we share a meal, we share life. That is what Jesus did: eating with tax-collectors and sinners, affecting influence and change and building relationships around the table.

So here’s the question: How do we do this with busy ministry lives? It is harder for us now. With four busy children and ministry and work obligations, we have people over much less frequently. But we still do it when we can. How can busy pastoral families make hospitality a reality? It doesn’t have to be a three-course meal. Invite a family over for hot dogs after church or for pizza on a Friday night. Make s’mores together in the backyard or have a longer dinner together. It doesn’t really matter how we do it. It matters that we are taking the time to invest, to serve them, to show hospitality for the sake of the Gospel.