Depression and Self-Counseling: Remembering the Light of Truth in the Darkest of Times Part 2 of 2

My healing from the destructive nature of depression was not an immediate one. It is not something you can put a patch on or rewrite by formula. There are no perfect schedules or perfect pastor’s wife duties you could ever fulfill that would push away those clouds of depression.

There is simply a truth. One truth that must encompass our hearts so fully that the roots of depression cannot change it up. It is a simple truth, one that we can recite (many of us from childhood) without pause. Yet, through the twists and turns of life and ministry it becomes muddled. We try to dress it up or twist it around, and in doing so, we take away its power to heal and restore our hurting hearts.

This truth is that of the gospel.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.” -Ephesians 2:8

 

Do you see the beauty of the Gospel in this verse?

Read it out loud, friend. Do you hear it?

It is all grace! It has nothing to do with us and everything to do with God. And it is exactly this beauty that must permeate our hearts and minds in such a way that the lies and twisted truths can easily be put to ruin. Our hearts must counsel themselves with truth and we must surround ourselves with truth-givers–husbands, family, church, and friends who live in light of the gospel and bring remembrance to our hearts. And in remembering, we heal.

Remember Grace:

It is His grace that brings us back from darkness. Friend, don’t let depression suck you back into the blackness that was before. Remember the depths of where she leads and hold on to the truth of His grace. It will be sufficient for you during those times of fear and weakness that are sure to come. Prepare, remember, and hold on tightly to Him “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9a

Remember the Former Things Differently:

Recall the past only in such a way that it pours light onto the work that God has done. (Phil. 3:13) He has brought us out of darkness and into His light (1 Pet. 2:9). To remember the past as a focus on our sins and failures is to welcome depression into our celebration of forgiveness and discount the work of our good Savior.

Remember Faith:

Have you ever felt the happiness of the “perfect Sunday”…the inspiring sermon by your godly husband, your cute children blessing the hearts of those little old ladies, and the song service filled with uplifting songs….only to step into your little house (or parsonage, as the case may be) to fighting children who grass-stained their new jeans, a crockpot that didn’t turn on, and a tired husband that really wants to watch the game instead of fold the load of laundry on the couch. It’s an immediate let down. You see, feelings are a mist. They come and go with the tide of our circumstance. And in these moments, yes even these, we must choose faith. Faith is surety of purpose in the storm (Heb. 11:1). It is an anchor firmly gripping ahold of the truth of the gospel, choosing to stay through the tides. And as they do, the storms will lift, and the light will shine brightly. You see, Dear Friend, His light never leaves you. It is only darkened by the clouds threatening to surround you.   

Remember Your Place:

We live in a culture drunk with the idea of self worth and fulfillment. But the thing is, it’s not about me. Fulfillment, true fulfillment, is “not of my own doing”. True fulfillment and joy come from the Gospel. In fact, we deserve absolutely none of it. We can’t do anything, and we have nothing to offer. Please hear me out. This is a truth we must realize as intrinsic to the gospel message. However, it is on this truth that depression twists and with it destroys the gospel. She puts a period at the end of “I have nothing to offer.” That’s it, that’s all. But truth, God’s truth shines forth and says, “You have nothing to offer, but God ‘saved us and called us to a holy calling, not because of our works, but because of His own purpose and grace…’”(2 Tim. 1:9a)

Remember to Accept the Gift:

In his book, Grace Awakening, C.S. Lewis says, “I had been a Christian for many years before I really believed in the forgiveness of sins, or more strictly, before my theoretical belief became a reality to me (p. 935). Is it a reality to you? Do you truly believe that God’s grace has covered it all? Or do you allow those twisted lies and the darkness of depression to cloud the gift freely given.

My Dearest Pastor’s Wife, if you have accepted that free gift, don’t sort through the reasons why (you know why) or try to hand it back. God won’t allow it. He loves you too much. Accept it. Relish it. Find in it your hope. For in the free gift of grace, there is always hope.

Just a note:

Friend, depression is a very serious and often overlooked struggle within ministry. If you or a loved one are experiencing depression, please seek help. Yes, counsel yourself through God’s Word first and foremost. But please, please seek a loved one, those in your church, or a biblical counselor to help you through this time. Physical ailments and medications can also cause many symptoms of depression, so please seek a doctor’s opinion. Do not allow the enemy of depression to drag you to the depths. Know there is hope. Know there is grace.