The Sure Calling of a Pastor’s Wife: part 3

You can read part 1 HERE
You can read part 2 HERE

My first trip to the Sandhills is etched in my mind. We were dating. I knew Kurt’s calling was clear. I met folks of all ages that he had gotten to know during his pastoral internship in the summer of 1999 . I met Pastor Mark and Cindy Danielson who mentored Kurt and became good friends. I began to love the Sandhills people or as they say . . . “I got SAND between my toes.”

‘The largest stabilized desert of the world’ – Do I have what it takes to live in a desert? Raise kids? Make friends? Travel hours to Walmart? Serve with my husband in ministry? These were my questions as we lived and worked on the family farm in Kansas our first year of marriage, while raising missionary support to serve as church-planters in the Sandhills of Nebraska.

First child – I thought I had mono but the doctor also ran a pregnancy test. Sure enough, we would be holding our first baby born March 14, 2002 just days before our 10-month wedding anniversary. We named our son Daniel Kurt after his dad’s favorite Bible character.

Crazy move – Daniel was three months old when we said goodbye to the family farm. We stayed until Kurt’s sister got married. The night before her wedding, Kurt, with his brothers and friends, went to the church gym to play basketball and Kurt broke his tailbone. Our moving truck was scheduled for pick up several days later and we still needed to PACK before the nine-hour drive North. The moving company called to say they did NOT have a truck for us. News traveled fast. A local farmer/trucker heard about our predicament and was leaving the next day with an EMPTY flatbed trailer. Kurt’s siblings came over to the little white farmhouse and packed our home up in short order, ready to load the truck. With Kurt’s broken tailbone and me taking care of a newborn, we were grateful for help!  

Trials and joy as we ‘cut our ministry teeth’ (June 2002 in Mullen, Nebraska, population 500-600) – My husband was the new associate/youth pastor in town; planting a youth group would be our main focus. Kurt also helped finish constructing the new church building and worked on some ranches which helped him get to know the people. I pushed Daniel in a stroller every day, meeting new people along the way. I learned to talk about the weather. A rumor circulated that I was the new eighth grader in town. One Rancher said, “I hope you’ll like it here; the Sandhills are hard on women and horses.” What JOY to hear another family had just moved to this same town; the mom and I became fast friends and set up a weekly prayer time – an answer to prayer. I gleaned insight into serving as a ministry wife by watching the pastor’s wife who faithfully served with her husband.

A knock at our door – A group of high school girls had come over to tell us they wanted to live for the Lord but didn’t know how. They declared they were some of the wildest kids at school.  We declared God’s GRACE and they nicknamed themselves ‘The Grace Girls.’ They came to our home weekly for a home cooked meal and Bible study. They watched us raise baby Daniel. Another girl from a nearby small-town often visited her Grandma just down the road. She came over frequently and later told me she wrote a paper on early childhood development from watching me take care of baby Daniel. Opening my home and heart is often a challenge for me in ministry, but memories like these girls encourage me to let the Lord be strong when I’m weak!

First Funeral – The Pastor’s family took a rare vacation while we were still learning the ropes. A young man passed away and his bereaved Mom asked Kurt to do the funeral. We traveled to a remote cemetery for a simple outdoor funeral. I played Amazing Grace on my flute and Kurt gave the message.

Cowboy Culture bloopers – I can now laugh at my growing list of bloopers including the first time I moved cattle on horseback, wrestled a calf at a branding, drove a vehicle with a horse trailer, and conducted a choir of ranchers.

Moving further into the desert – Kurt came home one day after his prayer time with Pastor Mark and said,  “I’m not sure how you’ll take this, but I believe God is leading us to drive 80 miles from here and lead a Bible study in a 100% ranching area with the vision to plant a church there.” My heart froze in fear- why would I want to move AGAIN? And for heaven’s sake I just got the wallpaper of my dreams up in the baby’s room! Kurt continued, “This isn’t even a town so I can’t show you on a map and Walmart is almost three hours away.” The Lord supernaturally changed my heart and I found myself saying, “I’m ready; let’s go now!” The vision I had seen of running across large hills of sand with great joy was about to become a reality. These were our people.

Pre-move – We drove 80 miles (twice a month) for a year as Kurt shared God’s Word. We were still living in Mullen and these new ranch wives prayed for us to make it safely to Valentine for the birth of our second. We drove 70 miles while in active labor and Annalise Sue was born in between March blizzards. A pair of tiny pink boots were delivered to our hospital room.

Life on a ranch – (2005-2010) Janet Parkhurst knew this vast ranching area like the back of her hand and had drawn us a map. She and others joined in praying for a house so our family could move to this community. An interview of sorts was setup and we drove to the Ravenscroft’s ranch marveling at the raw beauty of the Sandhills. We met in their living room and were pointedly asked, “Why do you want to live way out here?” Kurt didn’t hesitate, “We want to share Jesus with the people.” I thought, “Great- there goes our only option for housing!” But the next words we heard were, “We think we have a place for your family to live.” Kurt worked off our rent every month and the first location of Sandhills Church of Hope was planted. Our next two children were born, Abigail Joy (2006) and Naomi Roberta (2009) with a miscarriage in between. The Lord helped us trail-blaze what full-time ministry could look like in this rural ranching area.

“It’s the beginning of the end of your time here.” the Lord whispered one day on my walk. He would soon call us to plant the second location of Sandhills Church of Hope. Once again, my heart was fearful.

A letter in the mail – We had just returned from supper with a family some 40 miles away and stopped at our mailbox. “We’ll be praying about how God might want us to stand with you to reach people for Jesus here,” my husband had said while we stood under their porch light before leaving. The enemy hurled darts of doubt and discouragement at me on the drive home that dark night: “You don’t have time or energy to reach out any more than you already are. If you start helping this family with kids ministry, your own will be lost. You will face many hardships if you start branching out to more areas.” I believed every lie; I would NOT support my husband in reaching out to other areas. The stars were extra brilliant that night as Kurt carried in tired kids and I carried in the pile of mail. I opened a letter addressed to me but with no return address. “Dear Denna, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” (Isaiah 43:1b-2) It was signed: GOD. I fell into my husband’s arms saying, “I don’t know what God’s doing but I’m willing to do whatever He asks of us.”

YES, Lord – (2010-present) The Lord enabled us to purchase and move into a 900-sq ft home with some acreage which was located between the two locations of Sandhills Church of Hope. Our children switched school districts and my husband’s hand-built office building moved with us on the back of a flat-bed trailer. Miriam Rose was born in 2011 – we only had to travel 30 miles in active labor! Our family of seven jumped into small-town life and ministry through our kids’ schools, serving on community boards, experiencing natural disasters (fires/tornadoes), missing family many miles away, counseling and visiting all ages, teaching the Bible, my husband’s diabetes, starting a Moms in Prayer group, a vision for birthing Flowers for the Pastor’s Wife, listening to my husband preach the Word twice on Sundays, and developing spiritual leaders and strong friendships.

“If you obey God in the first thing He shows you, then He instantly opens up the next truth to you. You could read volumes on the work of the Holy Spirit, when five minutes of uncompromising obedience would make things as clear as sunlight.”  -Oswald Chambers