What does it mean to be faithful in transitions when excitement and hope are scrambled with uncertainty and chaos? Good question. My husband and I anticipated and prepared for the upcoming transitions and changes of this past summer. We had known for over a year that the senior pastor that my husband worked beside was moving at the end of June. We had met numerous times with the departing pastoral couple, our dear co-labourers and friends of almost four years. The goal was to glean wisdom and insight from their 11 years of experience in our small town. Church camp and the farewell party added to the busyness but were successfully executed in their last month with us. Our personal “summer” holidays had been booked for May anticipating extra demands of work in summer. And a young but experienced pastor, who had been hired to step in as co-pastor with my husband, would arrive in July.
Largely, we were excited for the change. I felt at ease knowing we had a firm grasp on the figurative baton and our loving church family was standing with us. However, I sensed an extra load on my husband during those weeks leading up to the switch. The added responsibility and brain space required for welcoming a new ministry partner was draining and daunting.
The summer is now over but I cannot say we are through the transition to stable and steady ground yet. The transition continues with fall programming underway and building relationships with our new ministry partners. I perceive that it is going well, but there are always new challenges involved with learning how to work together. Our family also said goodbye to a pastoral couple with teenagers who were themselves just as much our friends. Saying goodbye is hard! Now we are doing ministry with a family that is beside us in the trenches raising young kids too. Instead of guys to read stories and give piggyback rides, our co-pastor family has three kids just as hands-on as our preschoolers.
God also sent us different surprises that were much harder to foresee: persistent neck and chest pain limited my capability for a few weeks during a crazy part of spring. Later, our first summer as homeowners tending our beloved garden and yard (that we reminded ourselves was a privilege) required more weeding and mowing than we cared to give it. Like a frog in boiling water we did not realize how working into the evening night after night was wearing on us. Then, under God’s sovereign eye, in August my husband became increasingly sick. His symptoms were too many to list here. His unpredictable health and trips to the ER evoked more questions than answers. We prayed. He slept a lot. And God helped me do everything that I did! In September, what we believed was a virus turned out to be a tick-transmitted disease. As you can imagine, our summer of anticipated transitions like connecting with the new pastor, taking on more duties at our church’s fair ministry, and adding to our family became a season of unexpected changes with no end date.
Right in the middle of transition what does faithfulness look like? And how can we practice it as pastors’ wives? Our heavenly Father is perfectly loyal, steadfast, and constant. In Psalm 33 the psalmist urges the righteous person to extol the Lord because “[t]he word of the Lord is upright, and all his work is done in faithfulness” (v 4, ESV). Holding to the truth that God is the One who is always faithful is a basic principle, but I find it a life-giving one. It goes without saying that I am not perfectly loyal, steadfast, or constant, especially when changes hit me—predicted or unpredicted! To know and believe that God is faithful when I am faithless lifts a burden off my shoulders (2 Tim 2:13). I have a difficult time relinquishing control. Faithfulness is not clinging to what we have or depending on ourselves. Faithfulness requires setting our gaze on the One who is always faithful. It is God’s divine power that gives us everything we need for a godly life (2 Peter 1:3 NIV), including faithfulness.
With the Lord as our anchor and strength, how is faithfulness practiced? Would faithfulness at church and home simply mean meeting people’s expectations? Can faithfulness be measured by our productivity or perceived success? We may find these concepts straightforward or within reach in theory, but all small town pastor families know–or will learn–they are impossible in reality! If true faithfulness cannot be gauged by satisfying the demands around us, how is it fulfilled? Could it be that faithfulness is fulfilling what God requires of us instead? How would we distinguish between the two? Again, we are dependent on the Lord. We can come to Him in prayer for wisdom and guidance and He will not turn us away (James 1:5). We have the Word of God that discerns the thoughts and attitudes of the heart (Hebrews 4:12). We can test our motives to see if they are driven by others’ perception of us or wanting to see Christ glorified.
A practical way I tried to be faithful in our ministry transition this summer was to honour the pastoral couple that had gone before us. Speaking well of them and highlighting their strengths to others and myself required conscious effort. There were many good things to say, but it was surprising how negative thoughts came to mind. I learned to watch out for conversations that involved “they did it that way, but maybe now we should do it this way.” Those exchanges only have a limited place between a pastor’s wife and her husband or among ministry leaders.
Ministry transitions and family changes can be filled with lots of unknowns and one’s capacity can fluctuate. When my husband first got sick, I needed to take every day as it came. The drastic change in our home made me slow down and give my tasks to the Lord when I wanted to speed up. Faithfulness included admitting my own limits and surrendering my pride and self-sufficiency. Faithfulness looked like receiving and asking for help. Some days I went to bed before the checklist was completed because sleep is not optional and this girl needs to get to bed sooner! I’m still reminded at the start of the day that faithfulness is better demonstrated through my attitude than accomplishing my tasks. That is a hard one!
Sister, I do not know the transitions in ministry and family you are experiencing. And God only knows the ones approaching. In the hectic and unfamiliar transitions in life a helpful question to ask is, “What does the Lord require of me today?” Remember He is faithful to supply all you need. He does not require more from you than He is able to provide.
