Last fall, I started to have some issues with my lower back and legs. Little by little, I lost the ability to walk without the help of a cane, then a walker. An MRI showed trouble with discs pinching nerves that took away the ability of my nerves to tell my muscles what to do.
Little by little the pain increased.
The doctors began the process – try physical therapy, then a spinal shot, then talk to the surgeon if none of these work. The problem was, each of these were weeks or months away and the pain and struggle were immediate.
A request for prayer was sent to friends and family.
As the pain intensified, it was hard to understand or desire God’s will. The first trip to the Emergency Department (formerly Emergency Room) ended with a myriad of pain medicine to help me get to the appointment for the spinal shot.
Less than a week later, the second trip to the ED ended with admission, although I wasn’t sure of their plan. Within the next four days, the pain became unbearable. Even with all the pain medicine, I cried out in pain. Pain so intense, I had trouble speaking or answering the questions they asked. Late one night, my thoughts turned to Jesus on the cross. I knew He experienced more pain than I could ever experience. In the midst of my pain, I was humbled and grateful that He endured the cross – for me. For us. In the middle of the night, desperate for relief, I wondered if anyone was praying for me. Were they asleep? Did they know how much I needed them to pray? I couldn’t pray. And God reminded me that not only is the Holy Spirit interceding for me (Romans 8:26) but Jesus is also interceding. What comfort these words brought to my soul.
“Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us” (Romans 8:34).
“Therefore he is able to save completely those who come to God through him, because he always lives to intercede for them” (Hebrews 7:25 NIV).
“God, help me,” was all I could pray, when through the fog, I heard my nurse say that I was scheduled for surgery the next day. I remember very little except that after the surgery, the unbearable pain was gone. Two days later, another surgery finished the needed work and healing began.
How can I describe to you my desperation and God speaking to me in my thoughts? That although my pain took everything away from me, God still broke through. He filled my thoughts with His truth. He cared enough that Father, Son, and Spirit were intimately aware of me and were working good in my life.
I thank God for the privilege of bringing my needs before Him at the throne of grace. I thank God for all the people who heard my plight and responded in prayer to the Father. And I praise God for the intimate relationship of the Trinity who knows, who cares, who interceded for me!
