The only thing constant in life is change. This is one of the many wise sayings my dad shared with me growing up that has stuck with me and given me direction for my life. Coming from a farm family who owns land that has been in the family since the days of the Homestead Act, that’s saying something. Even in rural areas where change seems slower than in other places, things never stay the same.
Our marriages are no different. In particular, ministry marriages undergo a lot of change. Often because of the tremendous pressures we are under, the strain of change can make it challenging to stay grounded in the never-changing Word; yet regardless of how we seek to remain in that Word together as a couple, He is the One who holds us to Himself throughout the seasons of life and ministry.
I have many fond memories of the early days of my husband’s and my relationship, and our times spent in the Word. One thing he insisted on when we got engaged was that we do our own pre-marital counseling, complete with our own Bible study that we worked through together on I Corinthians 15, which contained the life verse we chose as we prepared to serve God together in ministry: verse 58. “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”
Like the seasons changed, how we spent time in the Word changed, too. One of our wedding gifts was a couple’s devotional book. We would read an entry each night together before bed. Sometimes we’d even sing a hymn. I’d attempt to switch to the harmony after the first stanza, and he’d follow me so that the melody dropped out. That brought some laughs; it was fun, and it helped us to grow spiritually.
But as we moved through the various seasons of our lives: seminary, our first pastoral ministry in a church, caring for babies that seemingly grew overnight into teenagers, and ongoing ministry stresses…some of those couple devotional routines went by the way-side. Did that mean that the Word no longer was a part of our marriage, that we weren’t growing spiritually? Absolutely not!
The Word is ever-present, and He has walked with us through the ups and downs of our lives even though we weren’t reading our devotional book every night or singing hymns together anymore. Our walk in the Word was more interwoven through our every-day lives as we talked about the things we were both learning in our own quiet times, of the things God was teaching us as we parented, and as we cared for the people in our church.
On this day, February 26th, twenty-four years ago, we committed to teaching and living the Word of God in our marriage and ministry. Much has changed in our marriage since then, including how we grow together spiritually. And that’s okay. God is not limited to working only in a certain routine or way of doing things in our relationship.
Routines are good for spiritual disciplines, and I know and admire many Christian couples who are able to keep those as a regular part of their day together. But even if those do change, “Jesus Christ is the same, yesterday, today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). He is the one Who keeps us faithful to one another.
He is the unchanging Word who has been the constant thread through our seasons of nighttime devotions or theological discussions or just listening to one another as we process our trials, hurts, and pain through the lens of His Word.
Though our marriages are as changing as we are as individuals, the Word does not change. The grass withers, the flowers fade, but the Word of the Lord will stand forever (Isaiah 40:8).
He is the one who keeps us drawing ever-closer to Him and to one another, no matter how much things around or within us change.
Maybe I need to add to my dad’s wise saying. The only thing constant in life is change; the only One who doesn’t change is God.
Now that is a wise saying for life and marriage. I think my Dad would approve.
Taking it Further:
How has your spiritual life as a couple changed over the seasons of your marriage? What is one constant that has sustained you? Comment below.
