There is nothing like a year of Bible college to fill a teenager with zeal and an overestimation of their wisdom and gifts – and I was no exception.
My boyfriend (now husband) had been asked to be on the summer camp ministry team, but I was not included in the invitation. I comforted myself with big dreams of how I was going to return to my hometown mission field and reach people during my summer break. I was full of ministry ideas and plans, and long story short, all my dreams and desires bit the dust. In a series of events, every ministry I thought I would help with was on summer break or already had someone to do the work. I tried to get a great job but I ended up back at my high school employer – McDonalds, because I needed money more than I needed an identity and they were willing to let me work as much as I wanted.
So I slaved away, day after day beneath the golden arches. On the weekends Chad would come back to civilization and phones and call me full of excitement about his week of camp. “It was so great to see God working in kids’ lives!” “I led a camper to Christ this week!” “Our team is having so many fun adventures together!” And then he would ask me about my week and I would mumble something about giving people progressively clogged arteries and rack my brain for some sort of highlight to share from my little drive-through window.
It stung.
I couldn’t figure out why God wasn’t using me. I was willing; not just willing, eager.
One night I was working the closing shift and mopping the whole restaurant until the wee hours of the morning. I remember lifting the heavy mop over and over until my arms felt numb and right then God gently whispered a question in my heart, “Sarah, if I wanted you to serve me by working at McDonalds for the rest of your life, would you do it?”
I agonized over that question for days. “God wouldn’t do that would He?” But He was doing that right now. What if He really asked that of me? “But you wouldn’t God…would You?”
I had to surrender in my own heart what my primary identity is.
I am a servant.
Every so often God uses circumstances to “bench me” in visible service and all of those college summer break feelings and lessons come flooding back.
I know I am willing to do big things for God, but am I willing to be small for Him?
What I wrestle through, John the Baptist seemed to stand in with steady conviction, “He must increase, but I must decrease,” (John 3:30)
As much as I don’t care to be a full-time McDonald’s employee anytime soon, the truth is when I embrace my small places with contentment, there is quiet, steady joy to be found. This is no surprise really. Isaiah 29:19 says, “The meek shall obtain fresh joy in the Lord.” Fresh joy. Isn’t that beautiful? Who doesn’t want that? And the more you experience that fresh joy – the more you cannot only embrace your small places, you can start to ask a different question: “How can I go lower?” When you ask that, you know you’ve found the wild freedom of being small and worshiping a big, big God.
Taking it Further: How might God be asking you to go lower? What joy may you find when you are willing to serve in ways that you haven’t before?