Sometimes, it is hard to ask for help. Most people, men and women, have the attitude that to ask for help from others is a sign of weakness. We don’t want to bother them. We can do it ourselves. I believe this attitude starts when we are very young. Every mother has heard the declaration from a toddler, “No! I do it myself!”
And thus begins a lifetime of refusing to ask for help from others.
We try to lift the heavy boxes.
We spend hours reading “how to” manuals to complete a task that takes minutes. (This might explain the popularity of YouTube “How To” videos.)
We spend days painting a room with time we don’t really have.
We try to finish a craft project begun years ago that is just not in our skill set.
We put off surgery because it means we will be unable to do things on our own and we just don’t want to ask for help. We don’t want to inconvenience anyone.
This attitude of independence is not what God wants for His children. An attitude of independence is the attitude of the world, and we are not of this world.
John 13:35 “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” In Galatians 6:2 we are told to bear each other’s burdens. First Corinthians 13:7 reminds us that love bears all things
Within the body of believers, we are to care for each other and this is most easily and effectively done within the local church body. We need to do things to show our love for one another, if we are Jesus’ disciples. First, we must be willing to help others when a need arises. Second, we must be willing to let our needs be known – whether it is lifting heavy boxes, completing tasks we can’t manage, or asking for financial help.
This was a hard lesson for me to learn. After years of being alone, I was rather proud of my independence – all that I was capable of doing, like mowing the lawn (about an acre), gardening, working two or three jobs, volunteering for ministry, and on and on. But then, God allowed health issues to stop me in my tracks. Breast cancer meant I really couldn’t manage the lawn care, and friends took over the tasks.
Lung surgery and then back surgery required help during recovery. My family lives far away, and friends stepped in to stay with me. God taught me that allowing others to do things for me, when needed, is a blessing to both of us. Humbly allowing others to be God’s hands and heart is a wonderful encouragement to our own hearts. Asking for help is a sign of strength which allows God to use others and encourage them as well as us.
Don’t wait to learn this the hard way.
If you have a need, let your need be known.
If you have the ability, always be ready to be one who steps in to help bear the burden.
May the world see our love for each other and know that we are His disciples.
Such a great reminder, Lynnette! I know I am too proud most of the time to ask for help. It truly is countercultural–appreciate the challenge.