My eight-year-old looks up at the industrial lights that crisscross the ceiling of the grocery store, and I brace myself for the ensuing outburst. I’m prepared for his loud shouts, jumping feet, and flapping hands. The startled shoppers are not.
Ignoring their stares, I gently tug his hand to distract him from his favorite ceiling, but his delight is a trance. He doesn’t seem to notice me. His excited shouts and the shoppers’ sideways stares stretch on.
We unknowingly entered this special needs world when our youngest son was born in 2009. I left the hospital as a mom of three, practically a professional in my mommy career, feeling confident that I knew what to expect.
Except I didn’t.
I didn’t expect the first medical test at two months old. I didn’t expect the MRI, the CT scan, the ultrasounds, the genetic testing, the hours of therapy.
I certainly didn’t expect that weekly activities, such as trips to the grocery store or attending church, would become something other than the simple routine we’d always known.
I didn’t expect that church could become a place to avoid.
I’m not alone. Many people with differing abilities, both individuals and families, don’t attend church. The reasons are varied.
Often, it’s just plain hard, both the getting to church and the sitting in church. Others don’t feel welcome. In a place associated with quiet, reverent worship, the church can hand out its own share of stares.
Sometimes this lack of welcome is a matter of miscommunication. Small churches, with their limited volunteers and financial resources, are unsure how to make classes, services, or buildings accessible. Their welcoming handshake falters in their uncertainty.
And families and individuals living with differing abilities, accustomed to strangers’ stares and the begrudging offerings from schools, insurance, camps, etc., assume the faltering welcome is one of unkindness. They leave before the church can extend the welcoming arms of Christ.
I guess you could say I come from both sides of the aisle. As a pastor’s wife, I know the strains of limited resources. I know how those limitations can inadvertently obscure the mission of the church. More importantly, I also know that, behind the faltering handshake, most hearts are kind and eager to try again.
On the other side, as a mom, I know the intense desire (and amazing joy) to see the church gladly embrace my child with special needs as a full member of the body. Unfortunately, indifference or partiality can prohibit that from happening.
There are many practical ways to welcome families and individuals of all abilities into the church family, but the practical must be grounded in God’s Word.
Churches must first embrace the foundational truth that all humans are valuable, not because of our bank accounts or our abilities, but because we are God’s image bearers. Culture’s emphasis on power and status has no place in the church.
I love how 1 Corinthians 12 describes the church family as a body in which every member is vital to the functioning of that body and is gifted to serve the other members. Did you process that? EVERY member is necessary! EVERY member is gifted!
Sadly, many special needs ministries within the church start and end with pity.
They assume that individuals with differing abilities need to be served but fail to recognize that EVERY member serves and EVERY member is needed. The pastor, the child, the teenager with cognitive disabilities, the grandma – all are different but equally necessary to the life of the body.
Without this foundational truth, we become a church prone to partiality, self-serving factions, and grudging acts of pity.
However, when we build on this truth, God’s glory is on display in the life of His body, the Church, and true ministry thrives. We gladly welcome and embrace others, including families and individuals with differing abilities, because we know we need them. Our body is not whole without them! It is, in fact, disabled when they are missing.
Join me next week as we build on this foundational truth and dig into practical ways to welcome people of all abilities into the body!
Thank you so much for for your article! As a mother, grandmother, and aunt of children with various stages of the autism spectrum and knowing others, I am looking forward to what you have to write.
Thank you for your encouragement! I would love to hear your wealth of wisdom from years of experience!
Thank you for sharing your heart – I especially loved your reminder that every member of the body is important!