“For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Romans 7:18b-19
I have struggled with writing this article. For weeks, I have attempted to write about being a servant and serving, moving from one perspective to another. I begged God to help me write something helpful as the due date grew closer and closer. I discussed serving and being a servant with other people to gain inspiration.
Last night, in the middle of the night, God revealed my problem. No matter what I write on being a servant, I would be a fraud. Although I serve God and people in many ways, and have for many years, I have not often been a servant. You see, to be a servant you must have a servant’s heart. You have to serve for the right reasons.
Most of the time, I am serving myself. I want people to see just how good I am in teaching, or playing the piano, or in organization. I say no to some ways of serving because I think it is work that is beneath me or because I don’t want to have people see how terrible I might be in some things. My ability to not be a fantastic cook keeps me from being hospitable and having people to dinner. I am fearful of doing some acts of service because of how it might reflect on me.
At times, I allow my lack of confidence in myself keep me from serving, ignoring the fact that if God wants me to serve Him, He will give me the ability and strength to do it.
Just as Paul talks in Romans 7, I have a war raging in me. I desire to have a servant heart dedicated to bringing glory to God alone, but pride often keeps me from it. It also keeps me from recognizing that it is a sin in my life and that I need to confess it and ask God to change my heart.
So, how do I change? How do I gain victory? In verse 25, Paul gives the answer: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
John also provides help in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
Going forward I must remember to ask God to help me serve Him and grow in me a servant heart willing to serve anyone and bring glory to Him. Alone.
Change my heart, O God,
Make it ever true;
Change my heart, O God,
May I be like you.
(Update: Once I accepted what God was saying to me, I wrote this in 20 minutes. If only it hadn’t taken so long to listen to what God was saying!)
Taking It Further: Do you sometimes feel this way? Is there a particular ministry for which you need to pray for a servant’s heart?