Cultivating Your Marriage

Psalm 126:1-3
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.

 

I must admit, I giggled as I explored ideas for this article. My husband and I are possibly the worst at intentionally cultivating our marriage. We are more likely passing a few children off to the other as we head to another meeting or appointment. We don’t have a scheduled date night each week and we are terrible at buying each other presents. One year he bought me a pillow for Christmas. Another year he bought me kelly green tennis shoes.

But all in all I think both of us would say we have a great marriage, and I think those around us, who know us well, would say the same.

There is one secret to our marriage being amazing.

Laughter.

We love to laugh and we both think of ourselves as one of the funniest people alive. We think we have more wit and charm than the average person. Luckily each of us finds the other person almost as equally humorous, witty, and charming.

The Lord tempered my moodiness and sarcasm with someone who finds the joy and bright side of every situation.

It’s easy for us to get bogged down in the everyday tasks of ministry, there’s always someone who needs help, or something that needs doing. While we are sometimes horrible at self-care and “couple-care,” we often find ourselves with joy in simple, everyday situations and thankful for the things that living in a small town can allow or provide.

We love sharing breakfast monthly with the older people of our church at a local diner. We appreciate living within a mile of our church, so that most days my husband can come home for (and often make me) lunch. We love knowing the high schooler who works in the kitchen on a rare dinner out. (Apparently most of my joy centers around food.)

We try to remember and remind each other that a close-knit community is not a nuisance but a blessing even if it does make for humor when I attempt to run to the grocery store in pajama pants for one thing and run into every single person I know.

We find that taking time to remember the reasons we love our ministry and town allows us to add laughter into our routine as well. When we remember to build in simple things like taking family walks to the town square, playing with our kids outside, and having church board game nights, it allows us to have fun. Having our church see us having fun benefits the relationships of everyone in the church. It shows our humanity and reminds the church that we are just a family and ultimately that my husband and I are just a regular couple.

Laughter is also important in relieving stress. The physical act of laughter releases endorphins which lowers stress and raises energy. Laughter truly is good medicine and draws people closer together.

I love the first half of Psalm 126 and its emphasis on joy and laughter and how it is a product of the Lord blessing the Israelites. They were so joyful and their mouths were filled with laughter and everyone around them noticed.

My husband and I may not always take the time we should to work on our marriage, and things aren’t always as humorous as we would like, but giving ourselves time to spend together and be filled with joy and laughter is the best way we know how to continue to relieve stress and enjoy one another to the fullest. Laughter is just one way we can show the love of God to each other and those around us.

Psalm 126:1-3
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dreamed.
2 Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
3 The Lord has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.