Every Mom needs Mom Friends

But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but to obtain salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us so that whether we are awake or asleep we might live with him.  Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. (1 Thessalonians 5:8-11)

I joined the ranks of motherhood two years ago. My husband and I now have two little girls. Parenting a toddler and an infant is extremely cute and loads of fun…most of the time! While the ultimate solution for all of my needs is always Jesus, I need mom friends. You know, those friends who can relate to wiping bums and faces and hands all day.

Every week or so I go to a friend’s house with a bagged lunch and my two kids in tow. My friend and I eat—or should I say the children eat while we run around passing out crackers or nursing the babies. Debbie and I visit and pray even though we get interrupted every time. Tell me I’m crazy, but there is something refreshing about experiencing the mayhem with another adult around. Even though I am most often alone in my own home battling the struggles of parenting, there is comfort in knowing that there are other moms out there doing it too. If those moms are Christian women like me then they are also trying to live with faith and love in light of the hope of their salvation (1 Thess 5:8).

Moms need mom friends in every stage of parenting. The principle applies to those who are not moms too. Every pastor’s wife benefits from having a friend with whom she can relate. Those women without children and those who have adult children out of the house are also on the search for connections with other women. Living in a rural or small-town community may just add a layer of difficulty because there are fewer women, or more specifically, fewer Christian moms.  

I am not sure what meeting new moms looks like for you. First, please do ask the Lord for help. He is so willing to give you His wisdom (James 1:5-6). Secondly, here are a few simple questions to get you thinking:

(1) Where are the moms? Where are the opportunities to meet them in my community? (Is it the grocery store? Library? School? Is there a program?)

(2) What are my needs? What am I looking for in a friend?

(3) What can I offer? What could I give to a friend in light of her needs?

What you answer for Question #2 (your needs) is likely similar to what you will answer for Question #3 (your friend’s needs). I have met many moms in my town, but I can feel guilty that more of my encounters with them do not result in deep friendships or really much of a relationship at all. I wish my follow-through was better. It seems that initiative, energy, and time slip from my fingers before I realize where they go! However, we need—and can give—companionship, accountability, and a listening ear. Interacting mom-to-mom is valuable, whatever the length or depth of the encounter. Simple interactions with others should not be dismissed as insignificant. As human beings and even more so as moms we are alike with our fears, joys, challenges, and triumphs. Maybe some days what we need—and can give—is a smile, a five-minute conversation in the park, or a helping hand in the parking lot.

May God help us to encourage one another and build one another up, just as many of us are doing.