I Confess, I’m Discouraged 

“I confess, I’m discouraged.” 

I cannot remember if I exhaled my confession to my husband or to God. It doesn’t really matter, I guess. In either case they knew my discouragement before I said it. My husband was feeling the same despondency regarding the political and eschatological tensions within our local church body. And God? Well, I’m not sure if He gets discouraged in the same way we can, but I would think that seeing His children struggling in unity grieves Him every time. 

In our small-town Canadian church the pews (cushioned chairs, actually) are thinning out. It would be easier if the people previously occupying them were strangers, but none of them were. Some were friends that served alongside us. Others may have fit the description of “back row Baptist” a little more accurately. Whatever the case, they are church family. They were church family. 

Discouragement in ministry comes—and it always does—in many shapes and sizes. It can bring about debilitating emotions of exhaustion, frustration, anxiety, and hopelessness. We can spend too much time trying to figure out the “whys” of other people’s actions or a situation that is out of our control. In an effort to make sense of it all, we can start to wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” 

Then, sometimes, I start to think and say “what’s wrong with them?!” It’s tempting to direct negativity towards others during painful times; to look around and draw conclusions about others’ motives or faults. I’ve needed to consciously reject generalizations and judgements about other people in the midst of discouragement. And you do too. Here’s why: 

First, our observations may just be plain wrong. 

Second, let’s extend the benefit of the doubt. It doesn’t always feel like everyone deserves it, but I sure know I would like to receive grace and generosity in return!

Third, God’s got the judgement category covered. It’s not in our hands and shouldn’t be. Our own sin is enough to work through. And thank you, Jesus, for satisfying God’s wrath for all who call on your name! 

Discouragement is a battle of truth versus lies. The powers of righteousness versus the powers of evil. God versus Satan. (Ephesians 6:12). It can be difficult to know the truth, but it’s even harder to dwell on it. Knowing and focusing on truth is crucial when we are faced with discouragement, but it is really not possible at all without the Lord’s help. 

The truths found in 1 Peter 5:6-11 have helped me combat discouragement. 

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you. (vs 6)

Humility before God and others is always an appropriate response to disappointment. Discouragement has the temptation to get us thinking too much of ourselves, either in pride or pity. Both lack humility. The reminder to orient ourselves toward God can redirect our superior or inferior feelings and attitudes. Knowing who God is helps us remember who we are. 

[C]asting your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. (vs 7)

It is beautiful and shocking that such an intimate statement immediately follows the previous verse on humility before the Mighty God. The God of the universe allows and desires that we throw our burdens before Him. Why? He cares for us. Peter could have expounded on awe and reverence as appropriate ways to humbly respond to God’s might. Instead, he’s inspired to tell the original readers, and all that would follow, that our cares and anxieties matter to God. 

My eyes burn and blear with tears at this thought. Admittedly, I’m quicker to impatience and grasping for a sense of control than displaying humility when I’m wrapped up in a hard situation with ministry. God knows how imperfectly we respond to Him during difficulties and challenges. Yet in each moment of worry and despair—despite how we’ve got it wrong in the past—God invites us to keep on coming to Him. It’s here that we can embrace His greatness and nearness wrapped up together. 

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (vs 8) 

The reality of the devil is scary. God obviously thinks it is important that we acknowledge Satan’s evil intent to swallow us up alive. It can feel like our enemy is too strong of a match for us, especially when we are discouraged in our own faith and ability…

Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. (vs 9). 

Somehow God sees something in us that can stand up to sneaky, slippery evil. Really?! With faith in God’s power at work within us we can successfully resist. What encouragement! God knows our opponent perfectly, and we are warned of his tactics. And God knows us perfectly but declares our victory as we live in the Spirit (Romans 8). We (including our Christian family around the world) are “more than conquerors” through Christ who loved us. (Romans 8:37)

I’m glad for my husband and those friends in ministry who point me to the truth when discouragement wants to reign in my heart. I have to slow down sometimes and audibly remind myself of what I do control and what I don’t. 

I can pray and wish others well. 

I can focus on serving those who are in front of me instead of dwelling on those who aren’t. 

I can not make decisions for others. 

When the lies creep in, we say “no!”—again—like those who have faithfully gone before us. It’s good to remember suffering isn’t new. You may have a very real experience of sadness in ministry right now and have chosen once more to lose your life for His sake (Matthew 10:38-39). He loved us first and we love Him in return. Jani Ortlund, a pastor’s wife herself, writes that faith “goes deep and waits long, even in the midst of pain. Our faith doesn’t resolve our pain, it lives with it, enduring with patience through the power of His might (Colossians 1:11)” (from Help! I’m Married to My Pastor pg. 100). 

And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen. (vs 10-11) 

Before we entered pastoral ministry in the little town we now call home, we couldn’t have guessed the breadth of joy and sorrow ahead of us. Peter says it is all just for a short time though and it’s good to remember that. The night of my confession—in the slump of discouragement—my husband and I prayed that God would give us grace, forgiveness, and forbearance. There will be a time when long suffering is no longer needed; all disgrace, dishonour, and the form of discouragement most present for you now, will be gone with the need for patience! The exaltation Peter talked about in verse 6 is an eternal glory. 

When we humble ourselves before the Lord, He helps us resist the lies of the enemy and equips us with faith to persevere until glory. And then He himself will completely heal us and securely establish us under the dominion of Christ Jesus forever and ever. 

So keep going. Jesus is worth it.