I greatly enjoyed learning more from my cousin through this interview about her rural youth ministry context. I guess you could say I copied her when I also married a “Trevor” and jumped into small-town ministry with my husband! Jamie and I don’t live in the same province anymore, but I’m glad family gatherings still bring us together. In five short days we’ll be sitting elbow to elbow around the picnic table and splashing each other in the pool! I am thankful to God for the numerous examples of those serving in vocational ministry within my own family.
- Where did you grow up? How did where you grew up contribute to preparing you for life in small-town pastoral ministry?
Answer: I grew up in southern Manitoba as the daughter of a grain farmer. I suppose my up-bringing prepared me for small-town ministry because I understand the priorities of rural life. Farmers don’t live by a “9-5” lifestyle. They take holidays when there is no work to do (so never) and they take days off when it is Sunday. For our family, Sunday was always a day of rest and a time to socialize because my father spent the rest of the week on the farm. It gave me a great respect for what a Sunday morning service means to a rural community.
- Where have you served in ministry? Can you describe the particular culture in those areas and how that affected your ministry there?
Answer: My husband and I have served in several very different ministries. We worked with Youth For Christ as house parents in a boys’ home for a year. We then moved on to camp ministry where we served for 4 years doing whatever was needed (office administration, maintenance, summer programming). After the birth of our daughter we started in pastoral youth ministry where we have served two churches in the past 10 years. Although we were in youth ministry in all of those positions, I would have to say that they all had their own unique culture. The boys’ home was more of a “family” dynamic where we were not hired to teach the boys Bible studies or organize activities, but more to show them God’s love by making them meals and helping them budget their money. At camp we didn’t have the opportunity to make long term relationships with many campers, but we did our best to show them Jesus through the Bible study material, fun activities, and excellent counselling staff. Now in church ministry we have the opportunity to blend it all together. We get to make long term connections, live life together, do Bible studies and fun activities…
- How did God bring you to a place of serving in small-town/rural ministry? Did you have any sort of “calling” in this? If so, describe the circumstances.
Answer: When we were first married we were working minimum wage jobs, living in a little apartment, and working to pay the bills. One evening we were sitting on the couch together and we were both unsatisfied. There had to be more than this! A few days later we were asked to serve with Youth For Christ in the boys’ home and we knew that this is what God wanted of us. It wasn’t that we didn’t like our jobs or our apartment, but God had placed a sense of longing for something else. We’ve been married for 16 years and been serving in ministry for 15.
- How did God bring you and your husband together to serve in this way?
Answer: We were brought to our current ministry during a very difficult time in our lives. Only three months earlier we had left our first pastorate and we were not sure we ever wanted to step back into church ministry again. We had made some mistakes and been hurt. It took me a lot longer to warm up to the idea of doing church ministry again than it did for my husband. He knew what God had called him to do and was confident that history would not repeat itself.
- What has been one of your greatest challenges in this ministry context and how did you persevere in it? What did God teach you through it?
Answer: One of my biggest challenges is with expectations. When my husband took his job, he got a contract with a job description and a list of things he is expected to do. I, on the other hand, have NO IDEA what the church expects of me sometimes. I am still persevering in this area. It is a constant struggle for me. I do my best to support my husband, look after our three children, and participate in church activities as my talents and time allow, but I never really know where I stand. God is still teaching me to be confident in my decisions and to not worry about what everyone else thinks. I am a work in progress.
- What has been one of your greatest blessings in this ministry context and how has that affected your perspective of small-town and rural ministry?
Answer: My biggest blessing has been the intergenerational friendships I have made. Because of a smaller church size we work with people from all generations. I don’t believe it is necessarily a rural church quality, but perhaps more that of all small churches. Age groups don’t segregate themselves because we all need to work together. Our Bible study groups are made up of all generations and I love that. It has blessed our family tremendously.
- If you could give a piece of advice to other rural and small-town pastors’ wives, what would it be and why?’
Answer: I have found that small-town churches tend to be very family oriented, and in that, they are usually made up of two or three large family groups. It can be difficult to feel included when a church inadvertently has created family cliques. I don’t believe that they intend to exclude anyone, but they are family! They do family gatherings together, farm together, and grew up together. My advice is to simply remember that you are still loved and appreciated even when you don’t get all the inside jokes, or you have to break into a family circle to make conversation in the foyer. God has called you and your husband to serve his people and He will use you even if you feel like the outsider sometimes.
