“Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5b (ESV)
Is joy actually possible? In the nitty gritty of ministry and being a mom can I have joy? How can I have joy in my interactions with my pastor-husband? We do not always see each other’s best when distracted by tension in our lives. Trevor and I spent time before bed reading a chapter of Scripture and concluding our day with prayer.
Time together before God is unifying. However, right before bed is not our most energetic time of day. I am getting better at not bringing up weighty topics when my husband already feels depleted after a full day at work and then helps me chase after children too. Important points of conversation need to be saved for other intentional times, but we have not figured out the magical “time” for such focused communication. Oh! To be morning people!
Joy in communicating with my husband is most challenging in our quick exchanges throughout the day. Dealing with an unwanted task when there are “better” things to do, or rushing to the next thing can distract me from joy. Maybe your joy is challenged when you have an unexpected visitor at the worst time, or are being pulled in many directions. Most often it’s our attitudes that can dampen a situation and send our communication with our family in a downward spiral.
If we were the source of our own joy it would be impossible to attain. Thankfully we do not have to muster up joy within ourselves. At the Flowers spring meeting one of the Board of Directors, Lois, said, “I do not look to joy. I look to Christ.” Certainly, joy is not found in joy itself. We look to Jesus Christ for our joy! Small church ministry work is busy and can be unpredictable. On top of ministry pastoral couples often have taxing responsibilities like parenting, school, and other work. But praise God joy is indeed possible! Joy does not rely on our circumstances but depends on our never-changing Father.
Here are a handful of thoughts from Psalm 30 for being joyful in our daily communications with our husband when joy is hard to find.
“I will extol you, O Lord, for you have drawn me up and have not let my foes rejoice over me.” (v1)
Your husband and children are not your enemies. When my husband forgets to inform me of things, or my toddler pushes me over the edge when she dumps her cereal on the floor, I must remember this! It is ultimately Satan who tries to rob me of joy, not my family. Christian, God has won the victory over your heart often prone to resentment.
“O Lord, you have brought up my soul from Sheol; you restored me to life from among those who go down to the pit.” (v3)
It is with a thankful heart for what God has done that David praises his Lord. Your ministry experience and even your marriage may be lacking happy moments, yet, you can always praise God for salvation through Jesus.
“O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” (v2)
Forgive as Christ has forgiven you. It can be the little and big things that grow rotten roots of bitterness in your life that taint interactions with your husband. But remember, a joyful life must forgive (and forgive again). Jesus, help us forgive!
“Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me! O Lord, be my helper!” (v10)
It is the Lord who you need and He is merciful to help you. What great news it is to need the One who is most capable to give you joy. After all, joy is His to give.
“You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; you have loosed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” (vs11-12)
Lord, give us joy in increasing measure as we communicate with our husbands!
