Towards the end of December, we picked out Romans 12:18 as our family verse for the new year, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” I find myself constantly reminding my children of these words. My children love each other very much – but they also love themselves very much. Their love for themselves often gets in the way of their love for each other.
Truly, this isn’t just a “my children” problem. It’s a humanity problem. We all struggle with it. We all love to serve ourselves. I often tell my children that their latest conflict boils down to “me, me, me.” Each person wants what they want and is unwilling to put the other first. But to live peaceably with all, we must learn to sacrifice our own desires out of love for others.
Paul does qualify this command with the parameters of, “if possible” and “so far as it depends on you.” We mustn’t confuse the command to “live peaceably with all” as a command to turn a blind eye to sin, to allow misbehavior or abuse or any other number of blatantly wrong things to continue. Paul is speaking into situations that vary greatly, but truly is speaking more of a general way of living, of loving others and putting them first.
True peace isn’t something that we can manufacture on our own. It isn’t something we can just decide to do and it will be an easy add-on to our lives. It is contrary to our sin nature and can only come as an outpouring of love. A natural result of being loved by God and loving Him in return, is having genuine, brotherly love for one another. When we love one another, the “living peaceably with all” part follows.
Loving one another is a huge emphasis in the New Testament. It is one of the ways we can see Christ’s work evidenced in our lives, a way that we can see the Word truly dwelling in us. That is why there are so many “one another” commands in the New Testament – approximately 59!
Here are some of them: love one another (John 13:34 and many others), outdo one another in showing honor (Romans 12:10), welcome one another (Romans 15:7), bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2), be kind to one another and forgiving one another (Ephesians 4:32), submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21), encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18), pray for one another (James 5:16), and more!
By far the most common “one another” command in the New Testament is to love one another, and then there are also many variables of that command. I think it is commanded so often because we need to be reminded of this frequently, and because loving one another is a choice we need to actively make.
When I’m feeling put out because my coworker disagrees with me on how to handle a situation (and both are viable options), I need to choose love. When my children are arguing over who gets to have a longer turn with the toy they are sharing, they both need to choose love. When someone in my family is having a bad day and is grumpy, I need to choose love.
Sometimes choosing to love one another means I need to choose to let go of the thing that is bothering me. When I choose to let it go, that means I move on and don’t bring it up again or actively hold it against that person. If I find that I can’t do that, then I need to take it to that person in love and respect to try and work through it.
What would it look like if we all tried to outdo one another in showing honor? If we tried to always put others first? What would it look like if our reflex action was to say, “Oh no, that’s ok, you go ahead,” or “Sure, we can do it your way”?
What if we were always welcoming to one another? If we always made people feel like a million dollars whenever we saw them?
Choosing to love one another means bearing one another’s burdens – their emotional, physical, spiritual, financial burdens. It means we come alongside and help them carry whatever is burdening them. This isn’t a small task. This requires time, energy, and sometimes money. This always requires sacrifice.
We are to bear with one another, being patient with them! This means extending grace to others when they make mistakes or need our help. We are to be kind to one another – and not just when they are kind to us, but ALL the time. We are to forgive one another when they sin against us or hurt us. We are to submit to one another – this means letting go of our own ideas and letting someone else be in charge or have their way! We are to encourage one another, both in general and especially in their spiritual walk, cheering them on! And of course, we are to pray for one another. We should be lifting each other up constantly, praying for all aspects of one another’s lives.
As our family seeks to live peaceably with all in this new year, we turn to Scripture to learn how to love one another well in order to live at peace with all. How will you strive to live peaceably with all today?
Father God, please help me to honor You by living peaceably with all, as much as I am able. Help me to see areas in my life where I need to address this issue.
