The first pastor’s wife that I remember was my very best friend’s mother. We were in Kindergarten and I thought she was such a lovely lady. She didn’t drive, just like my mom didn’t drive. She taught piano lessons. I desperately wanted to take lessons from her but I was too young.
Our next pastor’s wife I barely remember because I was sick for much of the time she was there. I do remember she had a beautiful voice.
I remember my next pastor’s wife because she also gave piano lessons and I was her student for four years. She was an accomplished musician and very fun. But as a high schooler, I was intimidated by her. She always looked stylish (for the 70s).
The next two pastors’ wives were close to my age, raising families just like me, and ministering in the church. I never really got to know them well, mostly because I felt they were so above me. I was a single mom and they were pastors’ wives! Looking back, I regret that I did not take the opportunity to be a better friend to them.
Currently, my pastor’s wife is around my daughter’s age. With my daughters far away, I enjoy getting to know Cara and her family. She’s busy and I’m busy, but God has provided a ministry in which we share tasks. Getting to know her through this avenue makes me happy. During a difficult time for my family, one which I knew she had been through, she was the first person in whom I confided. And when the shout of joy came, I couldn’t wait to tell her . . . in person. I needed to see her rejoice with me because she also wept with me.
I’ve had plenty of excuses over the years to keep my distance from my pastor’s wife. If I could do things over again, I’d take the time to get to know these women whom God sent into my life. I’d realize that these women were just like me and I’d look for ways to get to know them – working alongside them in VBS. Or taking them out to lunch. Or inviting them to join a Bible Study – one they didn’t have to lead.
No matter what age you are right now, learn from my regrets – get to know your pastor’s wife. Enjoy spending time with her. God will use you in her life and He will use her in your life.
Thanks, Lynnette! As I pastors’ wife I can say that we often feel the people in our congregation only see us in relation to our role, and not just as women, as individual persons. Getting to know your pastors’ wife for who she is will definitely bless her!