I’ve been thinking a lot about shame lately. There is a difference between being shamed and identifying as ashamed. One is put upon you externally, the other is something you carry inside yourself. Both hurt, both can wound, but I am learning that we get to choose whether or not shame becomes intertwined into our identity. We get to choose to either heave it onto our own shoulders and walk under that weight, or to allow the work of Jesus to shrug off the judgments placed upon us, pull our shoulders back, our chins up, and walk in freedom.
Jesus was shamed by the Pharisees when they fired at Him with the words, “We know who our father is!” implying the shame of His conception, His birth, and His earthly parents. Does that mean Jesus was ashamed? I don’t think so. Jesus knew the truth about who He was. Jesus walked in humble confidence even as He experienced the deepest misunderstandings and criticisms a man possibly can. No one was more unfairly criticized than Jesus. And yet He walked in grace, gentleness, and joy.
And what is shame if not the incorrect thought that we should always have it all together? We shouldn’t struggle or fail or make mistakes. We should, essentially, be perfect, be like God. But is that what He’s called us to? Perfection?
No, He has called us to dependence. To faithfulness. To communion. To laying down our strivings and the never-ending work of trying to earn a place of righteousness before Him.
He has called us out of darkness and into His light.
Shame belongs in darkness. Shame is a product of the works of the flesh. Shame is the lie the enemy whispers in our ear.
When we are living ashamed, abiding in darkness, everything is terrifying, overwhelming, and hopeless. Shame says you failed yet again and things will never get better. It’s hard to live in joy and on purpose when we are groping blindly through the pitch black room where shame lives.
But in the light? In the glorious light of God’s grace there is no room for shame. In His light there is a vast land of abundance as far as the eye can see. His abundance and unending mercy are things we can’t possibly earn or contrive on our own, so there is no shame in accepting that beautiful gift with empty hands and upturned faces.
“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)
You, daughter, no longer answer to the name, “Ashamed.”
You are forgiven, free, righteous, holy, sanctified, justified, a masterpiece of God.
Your failings shouldn’t send you into the darkness where shame lives, but into the light of a Father who loves you so, so much.
Grace and peace.
