When I was in high school and college, I spent a couple months in the summers of 2003 and 2007 in the jungles of Panama. I felt sure that God was calling me to be a missionary so I felt like the best way to prepare for that calling was to attend college to be a teacher. My favorite “author mentor” was Elisabeth Elliot and I wanted to follow in her footsteps of being a missionary in a Spanish-speaking country. She was a missionary to the Auca Indians of Ecuador and I read several of her books during my college years. She challenged me in my faith and I wanted to imitate her “race.”
During my other summers at home helping with the youth group, I befriended this amazingly fun and spunky young man. Sadly for me, he felt like God was calling him to be an inner city youth pastor. We could not see how God’s vision for each of our lives could line up, so we did not pursue a relationship with each other at that time.
However, 10 months later God had our paths cross again. Our visions for our future had each slightly changed to both of us working in full-time ministry, mentoring young people in a mostly unchurched area. We both wanted to bring the gospel to an area where there were few churches. Thus, we began our dating and engagement period for 18 months. Out of those months, we were only together in person for four of them!
We got married in the summer of 2009 at the ages of 21 and 23 (I’m two years older!) and set out across the country from Virginia to begin our first ministry job in the rural mountains of northern California. We felt God’s call to this rural area because it is a largely unchurched area in need of the gospel. We moved from an area in Virginia where there was a church on every corner and both felt the call to an area of need.
I began working as a middle school math and science teacher, but once we had children I wanted to be able to stay home with them. So in 2016 I resigned from my job as a teacher to become a stay-at-home mom and homeschooler. I had a major identity shift because I went from being a professional to unemployed. I found it difficult to introduce myself to people. I would say, “I’m just a mom.” I felt like I needed to explain myself or my previous resumé. I felt unsure of others’ perception of me. Suddenly no one knew what I did all day and I wanted to assure them that I had a purpose and important things to do.
Elisabeth Elliot said, “The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, but the fact that I am a Christian makes me a different kind of woman.” My identity, found in my relationship with Christ, has been the anchor through every changing season no matter what is added or subtracted from my current resumé. I am not defined by the things that I do but who I am in Christ. He calls me His beloved, His child, His chosen one; I am enough, I am forgiven, I am free. The biblical understanding of identity guards my heart and mind and makes even the most mundane tasks in my day something that can be used for His glory.
After realizing this, I was able to throw myself fully into being a mom and a pastor’s wife. I found great purpose in being in a pastoral role alongside my husband. It was such a blessing not having to juggle working full-time, time with family, and time spent doing church activities.
Where we live in northern California is cowboy country. The majority of the land here is ranches and our county is the size of the state of Connecticut with a population of only 40,000 people. It’s not the California you think of with beaches and lots of people! Our church is comprised of incredibly loving and generous people. We moved here as young kids. They took us under their wings and they are the reason we have stayed here for 10 years so far.
We have given our hearts fully to this community and our people. We no longer feel like outsiders, but have assimilated to this area. This feels as familiar as if we had grown up here. But that didn’t happen overnight. It takes years to feel part of a community. When we moved from Virginia, we stood out with our accents and saying “y’all.” We learned to adapt so things like that were not such a distraction in conversation. But you can take the girl out of the South, but you can’t take the South out of the girl! Just kidding.
One of the best ways that we have grown close to people is through hospitality. We intentionally have people over to our home a few times a month and we also get invited to others’ homes. We also feel like our “knowing” of people is accelerated when we serve shoulder-to-shoulder with them.
We love to go hiking so we always invite another family to go along with us in our adventures. The magic of getting to know people does not always happen best on a Sunday morning. It’s doing life with your people and welcoming them into your life. When people feel like they are close with their pastor they stay long term with a church. They feel a sense of loyalty because they feel like family. We try to create that family atmosphere by events or small groups throughout the week. People can really get to know each other this way and build community.
I feel very protective over our flock and feel an urgency to study Scripture and “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Peter 3:15). I lead Bible studies and often have to discern people’s comments and responses. I feel the weight of the responsibility to protect against false teachings or heresy. There are hardships of leadership but I often pray for wisdom beyond my age or experience. God has been so faithful to train me by his Holy Spirit for my calling as a pastor’s wife. I could not have helped to shepherd this flock without that heavenly wisdom (James 3:17). God is faithful to give me exactly what I need in each season of life to grow and persevere into maturity. He has helped to hone my gifts so they are an edification to the body and not for my glory!
