Be patient, therefore brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. You also, be patient. James 5:7-8a
I took a deep breath and continued to sort and organize the gym full of supplies. Food along that wall, bottled water over here, clothing there, household on the fourth wall, and miscellaneous, the biggest category, in the center. The last four days were a blur, mostly of sifting, sorting, shoveling, phone calls (when the phones worked), and making split-second decisions for our own family’s and even for other’s well being.
I was that deep sort of tired and weary–down-to-the-bones tired. The past Sunday during church, phones started pinging and sending off tornado warning alarms. Being in the midwest, we were always skeptical of these, glancing quickly at the radar then moving on with our day. But this one ran smack through the middle of town, destroying plenty of homes and a few businesses as well.
I’m great in an emergency; I can keep focused, allow the adrenaline to carry me through, cutting to the heart of a matter and finding what’s important. I am strong and mostly able bodied. This has always served me well in ministry.
Do you know what I’m not good at? Patience. I want it done and want it now. I get bogged down in the long haul; I lose my sense of direction and lack focus.
But I’d run out of adrenaline in the aftermath of this devastation. I was tired of hugging people and murmuring condolences for their losses, while simultaneously praising the Lord that there had been very few physical injuries. I was tired of sorting donations, locating things for people, worrying about my own children whom we’d sent away to family three states away, and worrying about the family who was living with us because their home had been destroyed.
That November day in our church gymnasium, I realized that I needed a mind shift. I needed to move from emergency mode to long-term assistance mode, digging deep for patience and grace. My heart and body were tired, and I was crying for the Lord to come and make this situation right. When He didn’t, I realized that I needed to move my heart towards Him.
Waiting on the Lord to return often feels this way to me–as if I’m jumping from one emergency to the next disaster and looking around for the Lord to swoop in and make it all go away. I’m not patient about fixing things or waiting for the situation to recover.
But James reminds us that we need to be patient. The fields (and often situations in our lives) need the time, the early and the late rains. The Lord is not late in returning; His timing is perfect, even if we don’t see it that way.
I know that in these moments I need to step outside the emergency situation I feel that I am in and focus on how I can care long term for the situation. That’s patience.
Lord, work patience in me. Amen