I can’t remember how it happened anymore. Maybe they skipped over me when passing out communion, or maybe I spilled mine. What I do remember was that Chad was filling the pulpit in a church we had never been to before, and somehow during communion we ended up with only one tiny grape juice and oyster cracker between the two of us. Chad delicately sipped exactly half of the grape juice and then tried to break the cracker in half without it completely crumbling to nothing, and we silently laughed, and then I silently cried because I knew in that moment we were unintentionally embodying the deepest truth of Christian marriage. Every day we do this really – partake of grace together in this fumbling, sometimes crumbling, reenactment of the Gospel.
I wish I could tell you that we are some glory story couple who is always studying the Bible together, who has a Bible verse that is “theirs,” who never goes to sleep without praying together. We aren’t that couple. Not only that we have our share of hurts and hardships and marriage low points. But what has made all the difference is the Gospel. Over and over again we have a front row seat for each other’s sins and failures, and over and over again Chad has met me unfailingly with grace. That daily offered grace has melted me and humbled me and grown me and made me long to be the same person in return.
This is a different kind of glory in a marriage, that day by day, as forgiveness and forbearance and offered grace piles up, something beautiful is built. Repentance is the great friend of our marriage, and with every “I failed” that is met with every “I know, I forgive you” another brick is laid in creating something strong and beautiful. After years of mutually offered grace I can look back to see that we built something with space for so much more. Space to share all the uncomfortable cuts of the sword of the Word of God. Space to say, “I have no idea how to parent in this situation,” and sit in the unknown together and let Jesus parent us. Room to be honest about the depths of our sin so that sanctification can move forward. Paul was speaking about the church when he wrote, “I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace.” (Phil. 1:7) But this grace-bond shines the brightest in marriage.This partaking of grace together is sweet, to be known and loved anyway.
The best place to be as a couple isn’t a beach chair, or a fine dining restaurant, but at the foot of the cross in shared humility and gratitude, both holding onto broken bread and spilled out wine. Here is rest and security and humility. Here is the place where Jesus gets all the glory.
