You can read “The Goodness of God and What it Means to be Patient in the Waiting Part 1” here.
The next 18 months proved to be the most difficult, challenging, faith-building, emotionally filled time of my life. I cried enough tears to fill the River Nile. God was working on both of our hearts in a way I had never felt before.
My doctor allowed me to wait for the miscarriage to resolve naturally and when a full two weeks passed and nothing was happening I began to wonder if it was the right thing to do. Early in the morning hours of January 15, 2020, I woke up and urgently awoke my husband. I was hemorrhaging. The 45 minute drive to the hospital was agonizing as I begged God to spare my life, yet at the same time, surrendered my all to Him. I was taken into emergency surgery and later told that I had lost half of my blood. Too close to death, if you ask me! (I later endured one more miscarriage that was without complications.)
That’s when I knew that God wasn’t finished, that He did have a purpose for us, and that our ministry here on Earth wasn’t done.
A week and a half later, after much prayer and wise counsel from our closest friends, we decided that it was right to go ahead with Ben’s resignation and to trust God with the process. We had a small nest egg built up and there was no way we could ignore the tugging at our heart that seemed to be God. Ben delivered the news to our church board and we were ultimately finished at the church four months later. It was both scary and exciting!
During the following 18 months we prayed and sought the Lord. We asked Him to confirm the call to ministry in both of our hearts. We trusted Him for provision and we waited, and waited, and waited. At times it was easy for me to doubt. Had we made the right decision? We thought we were clear with what God wanted when Ben resigned, but then I would start to wonder. I would often express my fear to Ben and he would say, “Shhh. God has it all under control. I’m not sure how He will work it out, but He will. I trust Him. Be patient.” You might say that I rode on his faith a bit as my own faith admittedly wavered.
I will always look back on the 18 months time that we came to affectionately call our wilderness wanderings. We read a book together by Jim Ferrar called, “Manna.” In that book he mentions that the Israelites went to bed bankrupt every night and they trusted God completely for their provisions, even as early as the next day. That hit me right between the eyes. God is faithful and the same God who provided for the Israelites for 40 years (and more, of course) would care for and provide for me. God had called us to trust Him and, as hard as it was, He walked us through the desert. Our marriage was strengthened, our call to ministry was confirmed, and the intimacy we experienced with God was so amazing that I will never forget. It was truly a gift, though at times, it broke me to the point of utter despair.
As God so sweetly reconfirmed His call to ministry in our life, we both felt it – just like we asked God to show us. In January 2021, we were presented with an opportunity to pursue a church in Southern Minnesota. It was exactly what we had been praying for. Through a long process that spanned the better part of a year, we went through the trying process of being examined for the lead pastor position. Ben was voted to be called as the lead pastor of East Chain Evangelical Free Church in Southern Minnesota at the end of August last year. We began serving here on October 1, 2021 and have been so grateful for the ministry God has assigned us to. When the challenges come or homesickness arises, we have 18 months (and more) of God’s faithful testimony to fall back on and remind us that we are exactly where He wants us to be. I could have never imagined how God would orchestrate it all even as I sit here and reflect back on what He started in us just over two years ago. He is so faithful. He is so kind. He is so good.
I could fill pages and pages of testimonies with what God did in our life through the whole endeavor, but time and space won’t allow it. Just suffice it to say that God showed Himself to us in a very amazing way and confirmed His calling on our life in a way that was more real than I ever could have imagined.
I found this quote (and don’t know who it’s attributed to) but it sums it all up so nicely.
“I can’t brag about my love for God because I fail Him daily, but I can brag about God’s love for me because it never fails.”
The following is a Facebook post I wrote just after candidating at our new church!
The joy on Ben’s face says it all…
This weekend, after an amazing process of seeing God faithfully guide us, Ben accepted the Sr. Pastor position at East Chain Evangelical Free Church in southern Minnesota.
I cannot even begin to explain the work God did in orchestrating every last detail that led us to our new church family. I can only tell you that His faithfulness has been so evident throughout the journey that our faith has been bolstered!
This last year has been one of growth and filling. We’ve clung to Christ as we’ve endured miscarriages and uncertainty. We’ve leaned on Him and each other through the challenges. And we have seen His goodness over and over again. Our theme song through this process has been, “The Goodness of God.” The chorus says:
“And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God”
We don’t know why God has chosen to bless us in such a mighty way. But we want to be found faithful. We will be sad to leave friends and family and the familiarity of all we know, but we are so excited to trust God as He moves us to our new home.
We owe a debt of gratitude for all who have touched our lives, whether teaching our kids piano, Sunday school, coaching, being a listening ear, or a friendly neighbor. A piece of our hearts will always be here in the UP. You all are so special to us. Leaving is never easy.
We look forward to new friendships, new ministries, a new chapter. We’re excited to dig in and do the work of the ministry.
To God be the glory!
This picture was taken in the middle of our candidating/moving process as we dropped off our oldest son at Faith Baptist Bible College in Ankeny, IA just before we moved to Minnesota.
