The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Exodus 14:14
As a believer, I know that there will be trouble. Jesus tells us that we will be persecuted for His name (Matt. 5:11). This is to be expected. I know also that as a pastor, my husband will have additional fights – and we, as a family, will be in those fights with him.
Sometimes, the fight comes from within the church walls, from those we call brothers and sisters. Sometimes that fight even comes from those in leadership – those entrusted with the care of the flock, the care of my husband, my family, and me. What do we do when those who are supposed to protect us are the ones who are fighting against us?
We know that we have a responsibility for peacemaking and seeking resolution. Matthew 18 gives us instructions for pursuing a broken relationship with a brother. But what is a pastor and his family to do when reconciliation has been attempted and failed? What is our responsibility then?
We seek God. We pour out our broken hearts before Him and ask for guidance. Then we wait on Him.
I hate waiting. I especially hate waiting when it comes to personal conflict. I don’t like knowing that someone has a problem with me or my loved ones. But sometimes that is what God calls us to do.
My husband (Paul) and I were in just such a situation a few years ago. We had two people in our church in positions of leadership who were using their power to control and manipulate things within the church. Through their words and actions, they caused Paul great personal pain, and by extension, myself and our children. We cried out continuously to God for relief from the pain and for God to bring a solution to the problem. Every time Paul tried to meet with each of them to address the issues, restore relationships, and help the situation, it didn’t work. It would either backfire on us, or it was like a cheap band-aid that was placed over the wound but flaked off at the first sign of wear and tear.
I found myself, like David, crying out, “How long, O Lord?” (Psalm 13:1). We prayed seeking God’s will. Did we need to confront these people head on and ask them to leave their positions? Did we need to leave? What did we need to do?
In all of our crying out to God, we kept getting the same response – wait. So we did. We waited. And it was hard! Just recently, I saw Exodus 14:14 on a friend’s Facebook post and it struck a chord with me, “The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
When the Israelites escaped Egypt, they found themselves stuck between the Red Sea and the army of Pharaoh. The Egyptians were not going to let them leave! The Israelites cried out to God in fear. They were so afraid of the Egyptians that they wished they had stayed in slavery! They looked at the situation and saw no way to resolve it. But then Moses told them, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will work for you today” (Exodus 14:13). Fear not. Stand firm. Wait. Trust in the Lord. He will work it out.
Every situation and conflict is unique – God does not always call us to wait. There are many, many examples in Scripture where God calls His people to action, empowers them to fight for Him, and gives them victory. How are we to know the difference, when to wait, when to fight, or even when to run? We must turn to God and seek His direction every time! There are countless examples in Scripture of God’s people seeking God’s direction in a time of need, and He tells them what to do, often telling them something they don’t expect!
In the situation Paul and I were in, I see a parallel to what happened in Exodus. God called on us to wait, to trust in Him, like He did with the Israelites at the Red Sea. So we waited. We waited much longer than I thought necessary! Then God did what we couldn’t do – He caused those two people to step down from their positions of leadership entirely of their own volition. We had only to be silent. God’s way was much better than anything we could have done! I am confident that had we tried to confront them directly, it would have been a messy, disastrous time for our church family. I am also confident that leaving our church would have been a mistake – God had not called us to leave.
Rather, God, in His wisdom, allowed us to experience several years of pain and suffering at the hands of those people. But then He also brought it to an end. I do not fully see or understand God’s reason for what happened, and it may be a long time until I do. Or maybe I never will! Yet I know that God showed me in a brand new way what it means to wait on Him, to trust Him, to let Him fight for us.
We are still healing and recovering from those years – the fact that I am struggling to write this because of the painful memories it is bringing up speaks to that. Yet I know that God is good. He carried us through those years. He brought us the resolution we could not achieve on our own. He is bringing us healing now with new relationships that are healthy and are truly iron sharpening iron.
Through it all, God never left us. He carried us, and ultimately, He fought for us. We had only to be silent.
* Dear friend, if you are reading this article and find yourself in a situation where you are in danger, please do not hear me telling you to wait – please get help. Reach out to the authorities and get to safety!
