I remember accepting Jesus as my Saviour as a small child. I was in my bedroom and I knelt down at my bedside and asked Him into my heart. I suppose I was about six or seven years old and it was a simple child’s prayer. Then I went downstairs and told my Mom what I had done. I did not know then that it was the beginning of a journey that would lead me to become a pastor’s wife.
I never dreamed of one day marrying and becoming a help meet for a minister. In fact, I was raised in a denomination that did not have pastors. I had no concept whatsoever of what it meant to be a pastor’s wife.
I met my husband, Gord, at Redeemer College in Ancaster, Ontario. We both attended there for our first post secondary year as students in the liberal arts program. After that first year I left to study history at the University of Windsor and Gord left to attend St. Clair College’s Food and Beverage Management Program. We were a Christian couple, but our dreams for the future were purely secular. Neither one of us felt any pull into the ministry at that time.
When we decided to get married, Gord was working as a sound technician and I was employed as a history teacher at the same school where I attended high school. I had no inkling that Gord had ever felt a call to the ministry. As we grew closer together, he told me how, when he was a little boy, he had always wanted to be a minister. He had told everyone that he was going to be a minister when he grew up, but as childhood dreams do, that had fallen by the wayside in the face of more practical considerations.
God, however, had different plans for my husband and, ultimately, for me as well. Before I got married I had been attending a small, rural Baptist church with my parents in the little village of Louisville, Ontario. After we got married Gord began to attend there as well. We even bought a house just two concession roads away from the church. God was already planning for our future but we just didn’t know it yet.
Soon after we got married, Gord began to once again feel the pull to get into ministry. He had led worship and worked with the youth at the church he had attended before our marriage, but that did not seem quite the right course to him. He began to feel very strongly that God was calling him to be a minister. In order to prepare he began to take online courses to obtain his B.A. in Christian Studies from Briercrest College.
The minister at our church was an elderly man in his late 80s. He had a lot of health concerns, but he also had a deep love for the church. He knew it would be hard to find a new full time minister for our small church, which often averaged about fourteen people, so he continued to preach every Sunday. He agreed to become my husband’s mentor, which was a necessary part of one of his online courses.
Gord filled in a couple of times when our minister wanted a Sunday off. When our minister got sick, it made sense for Gord to fill in for him. He asked Gord to “look after this little flock” during his absence. He never returned to preach full time and Gord is still shepherding the flock. That was eight years ago.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. ” (KJV) Often it is impossible to even conceive of the plans that God has in store for us. We can only trust in Him and put our faith in His goodness. God’s plans are so much greater than ours and often well beyond our comprehension. I think back to the time we bought our home. We could have bought anywhere but the location we chose is ideal for our role at this church. I can truly see God’s hand in preparing us for ministry long before either of us knew anything about it.
Suddenly, I was a pastor’s wife. There was no planning, no fanfare, and, for my part, no real understanding of what this role actually entails. I’m still not sure I know. Having grown up in a denomination that did not have pastors I had no personal experience of what it was like to be a pastor’s wife. What was important for me to do? What should I try to avoid? I just had no idea and I’m still learning.
A couple of years later my husband began to pastor at another small church in a slightly larger community that is located 15 minutes away. Again, we saw God’s hand in planning for our ministry. Our house is actually located between the two churches where Gord serves.
As the years have passed, the two congregations, which are still very small, have begun to work together to accomplish God’s work in the local communities.
I don’t know whether having no understanding of what it means to be a pastor’s wife when I entered into the role made the job easier or more difficult. I certainly felt that many people had expectations of me that I did not understand, let alone knew how to fulfill. I have learned that the best I can do is to ask for God’s guidance and try to follow His leading as to how he would have me fill the role of pastor’s wife.
To be honest, I have found this a very difficult topic to write about. I don’t have any profound wisdom to share or any specific story to tell. God called my husband to minister in small churches and we answered the call. It has not been easy. I continue to work full time as a high school teacher. If I did not do this Gord would not be able to devote his time to the churches. He would have to get another job to support our family. Because I work I cannot always attend or be involved in all of the church activities as much as I would like to. I can’t always fulfil the traditional role of pastor’s wife that I envision for myself. And sometimes that makes me feel like I’m not a very good pastor’s wife.
The thing is though, despite how I sometimes feel, we are where God has put us. He has given me a job that allows me to support my husband’s ministry. I would love to be a stay-at-home mother and wife, and I do pray for that opportunity, but God’s timing is not my own. His plan for my life is so much more than I can even begin to imagine and I will continue to trust Him to direct my path. I know that I am in the spot where God has placed me and I am striving to do all that He would have me to do.
