There’s so much to talk about that I don’t know where to begin. If we had a pot of tea and a few hours I’d pull out my phone and show you over 4,000 pictures.
I want to tell you about how God works miracles through the ordinary, everyday, mundane of being together as a family.
I want to tell you about the majesty of the Rocky Mountains and my three-year-old’s overwhelming excitement of climbing his first mountain.
I want to tell you about my daughter getting to spend her ninth birthday in Rome, Italy and how nine-year-old me was so jealous in that moment.
I want to tell you about the gift of marriage and how I learned that my husband wants to help me but often feels powerless to do so.
But those stories are better suited for different posts. What I felt called to share even before our sabbatical began in May was hope for those who feel a sabbatical for pastors of small-town and rural churches is out of reach. As we’ve walked the process with ourselves and our church, we’ve learned a few things.
- It is possible
A long-term (three month) sabbatical had never occurred to us as possible in our stage and situation of ministry. Adam is the solo pastor of our church of about 125 people in a small town. They are honestly a lovely bunch, but also we understood the strain of disappearing for any amount of time was just unreasonable in both physical and financial ways. But we learned from friends (read about Jennifer McConnell’s sabbatical here) about organizations (like the Lilly Foundation) that help make those burdens much easier to overcome.
There are tons of resources once you start looking. This one from Focus on the Family is helpful!
2. You have to be willing to ask for help
We knew that for this to work, we would have to have help. It was honestly a community effort for us to take some time off. We had friends and family all over the country helping us make it a reality. We had RHMA helping fulfill a pastoral role during most weeks, friends traveling from far and not-so-far for some pulpit supply, our deacons stepping up for church leadership, and even our moms traveling to help with childcare. We asked those who have gone before us in grant writing for help with the application, asked a youth group kid to take care of mowing the lawn, and asked for the professional advice of a travel agent.
But we had to ask for these things. I’m not sure about you, but we often would rather just take care of things ourselves. We love to be autonomous, but we had to ask for a lot of help to keep everything running smoothly along the way. We also spent quite a bit of time in prayer asking the Lord to make this a smooth transition.
4. You should make the most of it
This seems like it could go one of two ways. Some of you read it and said, “But it’s supposed to be a sabbatical, a time of rest and relaxation”. And some of you read it and said, “Of course! There’s so much I would want to do, here’s my list….”.
We knew that God intended great things with our time and expected a lot out of us. My greatest fear was squandering this gift that God was giving us. Through this we gave ourselves a lot of boundaries and also freedoms. We knew we wanted this time to be set aside for His glory. Adam and I talked a lot about our expectations as the time drew near and while it did not smooth out all the bumps in the road, it definitely kept us from wasting a lot of time figuring out what we, and God, wanted from this time.
We did a number of things to help with making the most of it. I spent a little bit of time away myself, Adam spent quite a bit of time (almost every morning, and a week) of quiet time, we traveled, we had family dinners where “Daddy” didn’t get called away to the hospital or a meeting, we read books (nonfiction and fiction), and we relaxed and lounged on the couch. It was wide and varied, but I don’t think a moment of any of that was squandered.
5. It doesn’t look the same for everyone
You might think that you could never take three months away from ministry. And that may well be true. But think about it in a different way, could you take a weekend? A week? Instead of a family vacation could you reframe your mentality into making it a sabbatical? We fully understand that time away was a gift, truly and honestly. It refreshed and renewed us for ministry. We spent a lot of time able to reflect on what God has done in our ministries over the years and spent some time dreaming about what God might want from us in the future.
Even a mini-sabbatical might be something you can do. We started a practice in our family a few years ago. We call Saturday afternoon and evenings our Sabbath. Sundays are the usual deluge of crazy, between filling in for a Sunday school class, keeping the kids entertained during the sermon, fulfilling needs and prayer requests after church, locking up behind everyone, finding lunch for the whole family, and afternoon and evening youth activities. Sundays are honestly a work day; I have a really hard time seeing them any other way. So we take Saturday afternoons and we huddle together as a family. We tend to stay at home or close to it, take a nap and a walk, we make pizza together, and watch a movie. We don’t tell the kids they can never do anything with that time, but we try to reserve it for rest and relaxation.
Overall sabbatical was the opportunity of a lifetime. We were blessed in ways we could never imagine. But it turns out that the church was blessed as well. I thought you would like to hear from the church’s perspective and luckily Flowers for the Pastor’s Wife writer Lynnette Goebel is also a member of our church. She talked to a couple people in the church and has the following to say:
Most of us at church thought a sabbatical for Adam and Cara (and family) was a great opportunity. A few of us might admit to a bit of envy for a few seconds, but we knew this was a chance of a lifetime. When we take the time to think about the job of a pastor and family, if we are honest, we know that it is a tough job. Being on call 24/7, the mental and emotional pressure, and the spiritual warfare that is often intense can take its toll. As a congregation, we can’t ease those pressures; however, a sabbatical, with time off and time away, can bring refreshment. (As a congregation we can’t ease the pressures, but we can be sure we don’t needlessly add to them.) We rejoiced at this opportunity for them.
It helped that our pastor is an extreme organizer and he prepared the board and the congregation for almost every possible thing that might happen. We were encouraged to pray for them throughout their journeys and we looked forward to hearing all about it when they returned.
Many church members stepped in to fill the void left by our pastor’s absence, handling all the visits, prayers, and emergencies that occurred. But how do you fill the void left by missing family – the encouraging conversations, the smiles and hugs, the prayer support? I know my pastor prays for us throughout the month and especially when he knows of special requests. Who can fill that void?
It is wonderful to have them back! Perhaps absence DOES make the heart grow fonder? Or maybe we just realized how great they are as our pastor and family. Adam is preaching through Acts and including pictures and history of the places where they visited. It enhances the messages to know they were just there and that they took these pictures and he knows firsthand what he is talking about!
I’m glad they were able to take the time off. I’m also very glad they are back.
